Research & MyElite Concept · MyElite Relationsterapi v/Anders Vind Kiethon

What is MyElite Relationship Therapy?

MyElite Relationship Therapy (MER) is an elite therapeutic training in the development of human competencies. In essence, MER is about learning to act from pure perception, what you sense, managing your own rational and emotional intelligence from need to action, rather than being governed by reflexive instincts (thoughts) and desires (feelings).

Through this, people can cultivate the ability to exercise honest and empathetic leadership in greater harmony with themselves and their surroundings, creating sustainable behavior and results from their actions rather than politicization and manipulation.

The 3 basic intelligences of man

Rational intelligence, thoughts

“…you don’t control anything if you can’t let it be..”

As humans, we are living conscious beings with an instinctive (animalistic) reaction in the nervous system. When ego-consciousness and instinct meet, logic arises, we witness ourselves. We know that we are present, and this awareness, rational intelligence, allows us to calculate events to a great extent. This is, for example, what we do in research.

Our logic is the greatest defense we have against emotions we have not learned to handle; we explain them away instead. We excuse ourselves and politicize our own right to exist. Politicization is when a person “says one thing, means another, to achieve something third.” When a person puts down their logical shield, i.e. is honest instead of politicized, the opportunity opens up to work more deeply with emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, feelings

“…learn to contain the feeling of the feeling..”

Emotionally, we have desire, we have desires, and it basically comes from needs, such as hunger and thirst. When needs arise, feelings and desires arise, which drive our actions, and depending on how we satisfy our needs, it can be the basis for abuse. The question is how we manage it; do you manage your desires or do you numb them away, for example with an eating disorder?

Most people today are disturbed to some degree. We have learned to try to ignore feelings away, distract them away, explain them away, and eventually we succeed, and then we are not really aware of what is stressing us anymore. We have put so many explanations on the explanations of explanations that we cannot even remember where it started, and then you approach a depression..

We need to learn to let go of the resistance to the feeling and go into the discomfort and deal with it, otherwise we are manipulative in our behavior without wanting to be, taking misunderstood consideration out of the ability to care about the real needs of the moment.

Feelings must be free and non-manipulative. There are no forbidden feelings. Most people today experience guilt and shame to some degree in connection with having to allow free feelings. If, for example, you have learned that you must not think about sex, you will be ashamed if you do. We need to find the courage to do what we didn’t dare to do before and see what happens, otherwise we will stagnate in symptom treatment.

It is important to cultivate the ability to contain the feeling of letting go of resistance regardless of the feeling, i.e. learn to contain the feeling of inviting all feelings in.

Sensory intelligence, perception

“…you are what you do..”

Our senses, basically the 5 senses, are what we have to experience the world with. It is your self-esteem, your body awareness, what you sense yourself to be. When we are aware of what we sense, being present in perception in the moment in relation to what we sense, then you are at home with yourself in your own self-esteem, that is what it is all about, otherwise you are away, out of yourself.

It is important to sharpen your senses, cultivate them, and this is done, among other things, by using your breath. It turns on our nervous system. The pressure from the breath means that all nerves in all organs are affected by that pressure, the infrathoracic pressure, and sends a signal to the brainstem about where you are in time and space, how much speed you have. So when you take a deep breath, you get a screening of the body’s condition, which you then have as a basis for dealing with your challenges purely emotionally and rationally.

An elite approach: pure perception to action

You have only learned something when an action has made a difference (learning to learn)

The reflexive system: when thoughts lead action

When thoughts lead action, it is your reflexive system that acts (driven around on your ass and elbows by imprinting, old depressions, traumas, etc.), the immediate, old habits repeat themselves… (really understand what the mind CANNOT do alone -> develop)

, if you are not aware of what you sense before you start processing thoughts and feelings, i.e. directly from thought to action, for example, well then you are what we can call out of yourself … [extra talk] … so if you only just run from thought to action, then you are like a robot, a living dead person who just drives off, and I hope there are some of you who are a little provoked by it, because we all know that state, I know it well, but we must train our ability to manage this, it is the way to this good relationship with yourself and others

Collecting knowledge can be part of a larger learning process, but it is not learning in itself. You have not learned to drive a car just because you have read about it. Learning new competencies always requires action to make a difference, involving working with both rational, emotional and sensory intelligence.

Self-esteem: when pure perception forms the basis for action

The teaching about self-esteem, what you sense yourself to be, ‘at home in yourself’ -> therefore you can learn to manage thoughts and feelings

breath -> pressure -> sensually present in time and space -> reflexive feelings and thoughts

Need to grab in order to comprehend (learning with the body first

The neurophysiology behind: No Thoughts and Feelings without sensing/perception first … otherwise you are ‘out’ of yourself

. And only after we have related to what we perceive, what we sense and feel, do we relate to how it feels. When we do that, we move into the cognitive, which is thoughts and feelings, ego-consciousness, the ego. When we relate to how what we perceive feels, we relate to our past, to how other similar experiences have affected us.

“It is an important basis for everything to be able to register what we sense, how it feels, and whether this sensory and emotional experience in the light of the context we are in makes sense or not.”

A picture of your self-esteem...?

The Chili method: to enter into a good relationship with yourself and others

Research into the application of MyElite Relationship Therapy for cultural development in business

Knowledge sharing in business is well known today, but it does not bring much experience with it; you can read a book, but you do not get the author’s experience. We investigated what happened when employees were therapeutically trained to form relationships and be honest and empathetic in their transfer of experience to each other, instead of being politicizing and manipulative. We found that change is possible with intensive rope holding and MER training over a longer period of time. The study identified 5 underlying mechanisms that all participants went through as important parts of the development process (see model), and which connected the individual development with the development in the social capital and the surrounding culture. The study shows that when individuals take ownership to continuously practice Safe Harbor, they can lead the development process as culture change agents to a more honest, trusting, and collaborative culture.